So it's been about a week and a half since I last wrote. Whenever the time, it's been a while.

A lot of things have been going on. Some I don't care to write about or even mention.
But in the school category, things are going well. Only a few more weeks until spring break which means tons of work but hey, only a few months until graduation.
I am so excited to be leaving GCCC, you cannot even imagine.

As for UWF, most of the stuff is already done. I am waiting on my housing to come back and tell me who I'm rooming with. It's kind of weird. I'm anxious to know who it is, but scared that it'll be some off the wall person. haha. I have irrational fears.

I've basically ran out of things to say so I'm just gonna leave with some pretty cool lyrics.
This is 'Keys to the Kingdom' by Group 1 Crew. Check them out at: http://www.group1crew.com

They say we're all in the pursuit of happiness A life that's fabulous we fight for our beliefs like an activist The struggles here can be seen across the atlas And it started when Adam choseto give up his palace Now the earth waits for its rightful owner 2,000 years ago the 2nd Adam told us the kingdom is at hand, died for the sins of man just so he can where we rule over the land meet every demand while nature waits for kings to take a stand so we need to understand we can change our circumstances the kingdom is therefore we choose when to advance it

[Chorus]
You got the keys inside this kingdom, lift up your head is only begun, keep holding on and you'll see the son everybody sing it now [x2]

I heard you say that you would die for me gladly give your life for me, cry for me, all so I could call you when I'm so in need of promises you've spoken, my heart was always broken cause you gave the keys to life but in my pride I had them stolen, you say that you redeem us and bring us to a place where we can see the keys can never be stolen they just misplaced and so we rise from the ashes, stand before the masses proclaim the victory is ours and so we never give up, even though times get hard to understand, its never enough for us to sit back and hope he has a plan we gotta stand up and face the cold with a boldness that is focused on the fact we have the keys so just believe there's nothing closed

So many promises you gave, and we just turned and walked away but now I see the price you paid was enough for us to live victorious

So today is Valentine's day. A commercial day to show someone your love.
To some it's the ultimate day to express your undying love to a spouse, friend, or possibly even a stranger.
To others, it's a lonely day filled with bad memories and depressed thoughts.

For me this day is bittersweet.
I am around some of the ones that I love. Others are around because I can't get rid of them.

But there are people that I wish were here that aren't.
It's hard living daily life without them and holidays like this make it a little harder.
Even though these times are tough there's still something wonderful about being with loving people.

So if this day is a bad one, I am here to tell you that it's okay.
It's okay to be upset on holidays. It's okay to hurt. And it's also okay to love.

Because in reality it's what we all long for. We all just want to be loved.



If you have time, check out the live chat with TWLOHA's Jamie on AbsolutePunk.net at 8pm EST.
I'll see you there. :)

So not much has passed since I last blogged. Although I did start another blog. It's kind of different, it's a photoblog. CHeck it out: http://www.alifeinlivingcolor.blogspot.com/

Anyways, this blog has a specific purpose. I want to tell you all about the TWLOHA/AbsolutePunk.net chat on Valentine's day.

Valentine's Day is a very commercial holiday that I myself do not support. Mainly because it makes single people feel left out and sometimes hurt.

But it does not have to be that way. You can share Valentine's day with people who feel the same way, have the same hurts, and the same problems.

TWLOHA is close to my heart and a movement I whole-heartedly support.

I think you should join the chat. Who knows...you might meet some amazing people.

Courtesy of myself and http://www.wordle.net

Have you ever had one of those days where your will power is all gone?

Well today was one of those days.

I tell myself that things need to change. I need to stop eating for all the wrong reasons.

I am not hungry, I am just upset or bored.

And I was doing so well.

But today for some reason I just about ate everything in sight.

Now I feel totally disgusting.

Gosh, everything is just spinning out of hand.

There are so many things that I want to say, but I cannot find the correct words.
So much has been going on and I've been too busy to even think about putting my thoughts down.

I think something must be in the water. People are going crazy, acting out of character, and just being all around weird. Friends who were once close are pulling away for no reason. I cannot understand how someone can call themselves a friend and be there when the times are fun and happy yet they pull away when life goes back to normal. I just don't know what to make of it.

Then lately, old memories have been creeping back into the light. Things that although they made me who I am, I would love to forget.
There are days when I wish everything was different and the world was all right again. Back to the way things used to be. But then I stop to think that maybe, just maybe if things had not changed I would not know how to survive. I would never have gone through a tragedy, I would not know how to cope, and I would not know how to appreciate life in all of it's precious glory.
It's kind of like the Bible says:
If we never went through the valleys how would we know how to appreciate the mountain tops?

I, for one, cherish each mountain top. Because there is always the chance that it will be my last view from the top.

I almost forgot about this thing. ha ha

There hasn't been a lot going on. School has been...well school.

But I must say that public speaking class is stressing me out. I am supposed to give a speech either tomorrow or Monday and that really freaks me out.

I am really bad at talking in front of people, I babble and say all the wrong things. Every time it ends up as a disaster.

At least my speech won't be the worst. The first guy who got up to speak used a Star Wars quote. Which I am the biggest Star Wars fan ever, but the quote this guy used was the most random one ever. He stuttered and rambled, which made me feel a little better.

In other news, I am a brunette again, well at least I think so.

I went from black to dark brown and there's not a whole lot of noticeable difference. ha ha

At least the upkeep is minimal.

I think that's about it. Not much has been happening and I hope it stays that way.

:)

This is the eve of a milestone in American history.
One I am not all that proud to be a part of. It's not the fact that the 44th president is black, it's the fact that he stands for everything I dislike.
Americans are more concerned with saving the whales and protecting cats than feeding the many hungry and homeless people that walk the streets every day.
Millions of children are robbed of precious life because their mothers decided they did not want a child.
Each year America falls deeper and deeper into a hole that she cannot get out of.
I am truly afraid that this country that I love so dearly is slowly coming to an end.

Yet, even if I like it or not by this time tomorrow I will have a new President.
However, I will respect him because he is my President, not because I like him.


On the other note, everything on the home front is fine.
There has actually been no drama for the past few days (shocking, I know!)

I have a speech on Wednesday but the upside is I have all of tomorrow and Wednesday morning to make up what I am going to say. ha ha.
Thank God for long weekends :)



"I know one day, all our scars will disappear, like the stars at dawn
and all of our pain, will fade away when morning comes
and on that day when we look backwards we will see, that everything is changed
and all of our trials, will be as milestones on the way
and as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart
and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends
on that day all of the scales will swing to set all the wrongs to right
all our tears, and all of our fears will take to flight
but until then all of our scars will still remain, but we've learned that if we'll
open the wounds and share them then soon they start to heal
we must see that every scar is a bridge, and as long as we live
we must open up these wounds
when some one stands in your shoes and will shed his own blood
there's no greater love. we must open up our wounds" - Thrice

This blog is supposed to be about my addictions, however many of them there are.

So I figured I'd confess one now.

I am addicted to Criminal Minds.

This is my all-time favorite show. I am fascinated by the profilers and the psychotic folks, who are somtimes a little too creepy.

And it never fails, I have to watch it every wednesday no matter where I am.

Spencer Reid( last on on the left) is my fictional boyfriend. Haha, no really he is :P

His nerdy-ness and sometimes great hair appeals to my inner nerd.

I would say that he is the Geek god of prime-time television. Haha.

Anyways...lol. It's been a while since I last blogged.

But not a whole lot has changed. School is crazy already.

I have tons of homework and reading to do.

But as usual, I'll probably put it off until the last minute.

I could use a holiday (Monday!) and it's just the beginning of the semester! :)

So, today was the first day of my last semester at GCCC.

Needless to say I was scared, anxious, nervous, and a whole bunch of other emotions and a monster wasn't helping the situation at all. Haha.

But once I got to the campus and into my first class, public speaking of all things, I felt a little better even though I did not know anyone. Then someone I actually knew came in and sat beside me. Talk about a relief! The teacher was nice. Her name was Mrs. Jackson, and yes she sang the song. :P We played two truths and a lie. I lied that I was an only child. Which I kinda am...but anyway. I'm dealthy afraid of talking in front of people but hopefully this class will help me get over that fear.

(Funny thing, I've already conquered some fears this year. Maybe this is the year to break out of my shell!)

Then it was on to my second class, statistics, which acutually is spelled D-E-A-T-H. No really! Haha. I'm not at all good with math so I must admit I was unnerved at the thought of crunching numbers for a grade. Last time that happened I pulled out a C by the skin of my teeth. But this teacher actually made it semi-fun and understandable. Plus he only gives passing grades. How cool is that?

I am glad to be moving on after this semseter.

This town has a lot of corruption and secrets, plus a lot of memories that I do not care to remember. Everytime I think about stuff it makes me sick, literally.

This place is such a part of me but there are still parts that I'd like to let go of permanetly.

Let's just hope this semester is a good one and a precursor to things to come. :)

Life is funny sometimes.
There are times when you're on top of the world. Nothing is going wrong, drama is far away, and you feel good. Then, you're thrown a curve ball. Everything that was going great suddenly takes a downturn.

The past few days have been so crazy I feel like I'm going insane.
One of my college classes was dropped due to low enrollment. So I had to scramble and find another class that would fit in my schedule. I don't know how many times I dropped classes and enrolled in new ones only to drop them again. I finally ended up with a schedule that was reasonable but it took hours. And then it turns out that I missed one of the classes because I didn't register until that night.

I'm already stressed and the semester has just begun.
Maybe it's a sign of things to come.
Well, hopefully not.

Stressed is not a good way to start off the new year.

But there is nothing a good day of cleaning and getting organized can't fix. :)

So, this is my first post. It feels kinda werid since I've never done this before. Haha.


I do want to explain the title of this blog since it is somewhat....strange.

Humans are creatures of habit.
We like to do the same things over and over again and we find comfort in the familiar.
For some of us, our habits become addictions. Things that we go to when we feel bored or sad. Or just things that remind of us better times and we go to them to remember or even forget.
A person can be addicted to music, the computer, drugs, food, or even (dare I say it) a religion.

I am an addict of many things. There are objects that I go to for comfort as well as objects that allow me to forget.
Some are destructive, others productive.
My 'addictions' make up my life.
They have helped shaped me into who I am and who I have yet to become.